Focus On What You Want

One of the most important tenets of life and psychology is to learn to ‘focus on what we want’. Yet, how many of us do this on a consistent basis. Agree, we all know what we want from Life but we focus most of our energy on what we don’t want or what could possibly go wrong. Whether, we want to call it the Law of Attraction, Manifestation Process or any other terminology, the basic funda is the same- ‘whatever we focus our energy on, grows’. So, if we end up thinking of all the things that can possibly go wrong, it most often will. And then we fall into a vicious cycle of ‘nothing is right in my life or I am hopeless’. The Key to Successful Living and Happiness is to start becoming aware of our self-talk and then re-programme our mind to Focus on Happiness, Success, Peace etc.

Most often, our underlying 'Belief' stems from our parents and significant others during childhood and it is believed to have a bearing on our Adult Life. This explains why Regression Therapy is sometimes an essential part of Therapy. Moreover, it is essential to identify, accept our beliefs and then make a progression towards positive change. Just saying ‘I can do it’ at a conscious level will not produce the desired result when the belief deep down is self-doubt or low self-esteem. I strongly believe a change at the conscious and sub-conscious level is important for a successful outcome.

The more I get to know and practice Psychology, the link between Psychology and Philosophy becomes clearer. No wonder, Psychology sprung out of Philosophy. To relate an incident related to the theme of this article, I would like to share my Ajji’s (grand mother) philosophy. My granny would always say there is too much of a product when in fact there was a dearth of it and had to be bought. For eg, “rice is hechide (in abundance)” if she wanted to say ‘rice is over’. I remember asking, ‘why do you want more rice, if there already is sufficient quantity’. That is when my granny narrated the story of ‘Asthu Devathas’(Gods who Bless). She said, “You never know when the Gods will say ‘Tatasthu’ (as you wish), hence it is essential to always wish and proclaim what you want or wish for. Else, if you keep focusing on lack, that will keep getting blessed and you end up creating negativity when what you really want is the opposite”. While it may seem like a fairy-tale, I realize that she was ingraining the ‘seed of positivity’. The movie ‘Inception’ deals with the concept beautifully. No wonder our grand parents seemed happier, content and more positive than the current generations.

One of the reasons for this negativity in our society could be due to the rat race mentality we are currently obsessive about and focusing on how to out-beat our opponents. Life would be a lot less stressful and meaningful if we focused and harnessed our energies on what we want or wish for. The only person we have total control is on ‘ourselves’. Why not focus on empowering the ‘self’ by thinking, believing and acting in an uplifting manner?

I’m sure all of us would have had an experience wherein what we were looking for has come through some source, be it a book, song or friend. That is exactly how things work. There is tremendous power in our ‘thoughts’; all we need to do is to channel it to our benefit and those around us.

            Being a Sports Psychologist, I most often deal with Players' performance issues. One area I most definitely work on is to enquire about a player’s goals. While the goals are clear (in most cases), the player most often focuses on, ‘what if I fail, I get beaten, I lose to him/her etc’. In this scenario, the outcome as the player expects will be of loss. Instead, focus needs to be on best performance or success. Our Intentions need to clearly define what we want and then it needs to be re-enforced with techniques such as Visualization and Affirmations (which I shall deal with in the future).

When there is no dichotomy between what we think and feel, the results will be to our liking! Of course, it does not happen over-night. The Magic Genie is in your hands. So, let’s ‘Intend’ to focus on all that we want to come into Life!